He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
