I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
