Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Terrible idea I love it
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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