There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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