In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
