New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
