Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
