I puked a lego.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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