i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
