worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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