margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
