I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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