Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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