I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
