How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
