CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
