We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize