my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
