If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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