Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
