I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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