Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
