The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
