I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
