Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
