Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just pee around me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
