does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize