Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
