I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
