i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
