There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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