Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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