New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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