i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
