new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
