It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
now i know why i became what i already was.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
