my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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