So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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