The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
