I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
