sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
