Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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