I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
