I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
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You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
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At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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