how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
