I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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