You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Sponge bath it is.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
