Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You can't just leave with hair like that
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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