If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
