I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
