honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
