he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
