Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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