Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
