I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
