"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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