Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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