her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
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Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
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You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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