Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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