You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
