You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
